Hektor - the story continues... final edit!

EDIT August 25th:

Over night I have gotten really sweet notes by nice people here who offered help with the allergy thing.... thank you very much! You know who you are and I really apprecuiate your thoughts and ideas.

Unfortunately I got even more notes telling me to keep the cat, not understanding what this is all about. So I am telling you know:

I have several allergies against several things already, be it fur of guinea pigs, pollen, antibiotics or food or even dust. Those are just a few examples of many.... believe me, many allergies. Being stung by a wasp or even eating a fresh apple will kill me within minutes.  I am on antihistamine pills pretty much all of the year, so my symptoms are reduced... but they are never fully gone.

I have this since I am a small child. There have been times I could not leave the house in spring, because  I had bad bad asthma because of the pollen and believe me, this is hard for a child, when your friends may play outside in the sun while you sit inside with infected eyes.

I have tried so many medication in my life... I have gotten injections for years... they tried many therapies on me, just to see that none of those worked. I am already very happy that at least we found a medication that reduces the symptoms... but I have to take it most of the year which is something that cannot be good for you too.... but then at least it gives me back life quality.

Well, all of this has been the reason why I never had a pet - and never wanted one, because this little voice inside my head always told me, that this might be a problem for my health.

In May 2012 Hektor came for the very first time. A skinny stray cat with a broken leg, looking desperate and hungry. Of course I had to help! You all know the story as I keep everyone updated... I started to feed him, bought cat food and at some point I contacted a local help organization to help me catch him and bring him to the vet. It turned out that Hektor had old fractures which never healed properly and he was full of parasites and not castrated. So the vet did all he could do, castrated him, pulled teeth which had to be done because of the old jaw fracture but unfortunately there was nothing he could do about the leg. I was told to watch the cat, to look for it and if the animal is in pain so the leg must be removed maybe.

So Hektor was brought back to my garden and I continued to do what I did before - I fed him and watched if he is doing good.

But things have changed and the cat got closer and closer to me, trusted me more and more, coming inside my apartment... and he is inside, moved in with me... loves me...

... and here I sit with asthma now, thick red eyes and itching skin. I am fucking crying  while I sit here and write this.... I cry every evening since I know about the fact that I will not b able to kep this cat (yeah, I have been at my family doctor who did another allergy test on me and he told me I should find a place for Hektor... he knows about these health problems which I am having for most of my life and how fucking serious they can be)... I contacted the local help organization again to help me with my problem and now we are looking for a solution together... a solution which will be the best for Hektor - but also for me.

And now there is people who write notes to me, telling me to keep Hektor and that it is not right to give him away... because the poor poor cat has chosen me... which is true of course but.... what about me? What about my health? Where do you people take the rights from to tell me (some did it directly, others between the lines) that I am a bad person to give up upon this cat, who stumbled into my life just a few weeks ago while I sit here and mourn about the decision I had to make every fucking evening? Do you think that this does not touch me at all? Hell, I love this cat! I never wanted one but I love him now and it is not only sad for him but also for me. Ever thought about that? I tried, I really tried my very best, I fed him, I fucking paid the vet, I tried to live with him... I love him and giving him away breaks my heart. But then... I have enough health issues already and also I have a son who needs a healthy mother.... such as hektor would need a healthy human companion as well btw.

I will find a good place for him. I have help with this. I promise I will.

But also I will never ever tell anything important  from my private life ever again here in my journals... because I refuse to read notes like the ones that I got within the last hours. You people know who you are, I also contacted you directly... fuck you!


EditAugust 24th:



Hektor... he moved in with me now. The only time he is NOT with me, is when I have to go to work, this is when he is still outside. The rest of the time he stays with me now, he is inside or in my garden. When I sleep he lays down with me, when I shower, he sits in front of the shower and sings songs for me and when I pay more attention to the computer than him, he sings songs for me again... just then his "music" is a little more annoying.

He loves to bite into my knuckle when playing and he purrs on my feet when I watch TV. He put on some more weight and his fur is soft and shiny.

To make it short: happy cat is happy.

But I also have bad news... I am allergic. Now that he is inside my apartment, when I am here, I can clearly tell that this is the fact. my skin is itching after touching him, I have trouble breathing when he is inside and close to me and I sneeze like an idiot. He loves to rub his face against my face which causes my eyes to get all red and swollen, such as my nose.... yeah. Allergy. It actually does not surprise me.

So... I contacted the help organization (the one which already helped me with bringing him to the vet) and asked for help... bcause it is for sure that he cannot live with me - which breaks my heart to be honest. My plan is to find a beautiful home for him... a perfect place for him and I am sure that with the help of this organization I can find something. THey really look for good places for "their" cats and until one is found, he of course may stay with me and I take care of him, ignoring my hehalth difficulties.

He is very young still (they said, he must be something around two years of age) and to see that he is able to trust a human, I am sure, he can learn that with someone else again... now that he has seen that not all humans are assholes. As I said, it breaks my heart that I had to decide to give him away.... but then - better now than later. And then we have not found anything yet.

he is a wonderful cat and full of potential. he is intelligent and a wonderful companion who I will really miss once the day has come.

And please - since I have had reactions like this already - do not come to me now and tell me that people with allergies can live with cats by just ignoring the health issues. This is complete nonsense and I will not tolerate sentences like that. Thick red eyes and breathing trouble is nothing I would  want to live with for the next 15 years... and I am sure that Hektor would not want that as well if he would think the way we do. My allergy is a fact, a very sad fact actually because I really love this little guy and I would have kept him if there was not this problem. It makes me very sad... Hektor is a great character and he only deserves the best. But I never decided to get a cat but he decided to get a human. So it is not that I bought a cat and then realized, oh shit, I am allergic. He came to me, a stray cat, hurt with several fractures. I am not complaining... I actually am very happy that I was able to help him... and I would do it again.